He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
