I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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