i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
