Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
