i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
