I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
