Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
