you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
