UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
