i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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