Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
