i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Are these your boobs on my camera?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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