did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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