im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
