You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
