There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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