do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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