Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
