My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
as a side note pls kill me
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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