I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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