Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
