I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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