I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
