it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
