Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
