Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I intend to get homeless drunk
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
