As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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