So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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