I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize