Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
