Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
