I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
