I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
