Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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