toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
