just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
