i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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