you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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