Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
