What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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