I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
