I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
