I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I forget how to act sober
Randomize