I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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