If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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