The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
where are my eyebrows?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
