I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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