Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
