i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
