he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
