We won't sleep together?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
