This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
