just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
