I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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