He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
