Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I have feelings that need drinking.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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