On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
