hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You know, be my cock's hype man.
There r osticjed everywhere
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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