I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
